Wah?

So, today was another day where I didn't feel so well. I woke up at 5 a.m. and couldn't get back to sleep so I had breakfast. Then I went back to bed by about 7 because I just didn't feel like I could stay up. My stomach was feeling really badly. So, I went back to bed and slept until about noon.

That's just the truth. A lot of times I just don't write about how crappy I'm feeling. I never know when I'm going to have a good day or a bad day. I had few days in a row where I actually felt a bit better, was planning on starting to exercise, but now I'm aching and, bah. . . .

But, I did get another painting almost completed today. It should be done tomorrow.

George started talking with me about selling the house (as much as I want to move out of here I know he won't be left with much to put down on another house and I really don't want to move lower down on the socio-economic ladder than I already have to go to school.)

But then, I guess you can't go lower than below poverty level.

O.K., so now it's almost 2:20 a.m. and I really do have to get up tomorrow and get something done. So, it's off to oxygen bed with me.

Everything's gonna be O.K., I just have to put my trust in God again, and again, and again.

I'm up! Don't ask me why.

At almost 7:30 in the morning (a Sunday morning) I am wide awake and my back is already killing me.

Oh well, I imagine I will find something to do to take my mind off that (since my BFA show is in about a month and I need to make more paintings to fill those gallery walls.)

I just love painting.

Right now, I'm working on a self-portrait from 1989. Back then, I was a svelte, tan, long-haired babe. And, I looked so fabo in my strapless silk dress and big, gaudy rhinestone earrings. What a great time in my life this was. I felt good and I looked good too! A winning combo for sure.

George and I were in Orlando, Florida, at the time this painting will reference, attending a convention. I remember going to the convention and then hanging around for an extra week to visit Universal and Sea World.

I'd have to get in shape now to do all that walking . . .

I'm glad I have an appreciation for that now that I'm slowly decomposing (while I compose on the canvas.)

O.K., enough complaining about my cranky body and off to the paint!

So, the latest painting

I finally took a picture of this painting that I meant to post last night.

This oldie but goodie is from 1963, and my first communion.

Here goes . . . .



I know the colors don't come across on the monitor as they look in person. I think this painting is my favorite yet . . .

A Bad Day in Art School Is Still Better Than a Good Day in the Cubicle!

I got to the studio around 1:30 p.m. and started to work on my latest self-portrait; a pic of me from back in 1963, when I made my first communion.

My dad, bless his heart, is not the best of photographers. And, true to form, my eyes are half closed in the original picture.

On top of that, being that it was an old black and white photo, it's all scratched and dented, so to speak. But, I was able to transform it into a living-color-self-portrait and it kind of freaked me out.

Why? Well, because it felt the closest to conveying a feeling that any of my other work has.

And, I'm sorry to leave you all (who ever you are) in suspense, but I forgot to bring my camera with me to the studio today so you'll have to wait until tomorrow to see a picture.

And, that's just as well, since I need to add some finishing touches tomorrow anyway.

Ciao!

Saturday night . . . Work In Progress

I'm still wrapping up the wonder years. . . but I guess I'm getting a bit too obsessed about the clothes in this portrait. Stripes! Yikes!

Here's the latest:



I had a good, if short, day in the studio.

Now that I take a closer look at it, compared to my source photo, I've got to go back and reshape a part of the head. . . . .dang!

So, I'm going to head up to bed, turn on the oxygen and hopefully get a good night's sleep.

Problems with Oxygen

So, I've got this oxygen tank in my bedroom now and apparently I still haven't figured out how to properly use it. How do I know this? Well, if I have the thing hooked up properly before I go to sleep at night I awake in the morning feeling refreshed, and, if I don't have it hooked up properly then I don't wake up in the morning, I end up waking up in the afternoon, feeling half-dead, which makes my day all screwed up according to the chronological clock by which the rest of the world works.

So, today I did the latter which is why I'm typing this blog at 5:15 p.m. (after just having had my morning cereal and tea.)

I've got exactly 7 weeks until my senior show at Alfred University. I'm not freaking out though. It seems as though my health problems have come as a sort of blessing (no surprise there) that takes my mind off my first exhibition and makes it seem unimportant in the greater schemes of survival.

Not that I'm not putting my full effort into my show, it's just that I've learned to trust that all will be O.K., just as it always has turned out to be.

Case in point: I submitted my senior show application without a partner and got my own PRIVATE (or semi-private) exhibition space! I don't know of anyone else who has a space to themselves. . . well maybe one other person.

My plans are to complete three more 16 by 20 self-portraits and then one larger one of me standing, clad in my graduation day outfit that overlooks the whole exhibition.

And yes, I know what I am wearing to graduation and my senior show.

Today's task is to get to the market and pick up a few things, come home and paint and pack up some stuff to take to the studio tomorrow.

Think I can do it? Oh yes.

So, long time . . . no post!

Well, I've been under the weather, and running around here and there to find out why.

It's one of those projects that I almost wish I hadn't undertaken but maintenance on the plant gets more and more complicated as the equipment ages.

The latest 'discovery' is that I have sleep apnea. So, now I have an oxygen machine in my bedroom. Now, at least I can get up and stay up for the day not being quite as exhausted as I've been feeling for a while.

Thanks to finally finding a decent MD (actually, she's really fabulous, caring, and has a great personality) I've been able to find out what's going on internally and take some steps toward better health care (and hopefully, better health.)

So, I've been working slowly on the latest self-portrait. This one is from the beginning of the 'wonder years'. I think I was either ten or eleven-years-old in this portrait. And, although I still believe it's from the most physically hideous time of my life, it turned out to be the best portrait so far.



And besides the portrait I also found out that I'll have my own INDIVIDUAL exhibition space at the senior show. Cool, eh?

So y'all, let me know what you think.

And remember, if you can make it up to Alfred, N.Y. the senior shows start on Saturday, May 8th!

A 2Fer

So, it's two nights in a row that I'm posting here, you lucky readers (who ever you are.)

I'm starting to feel a bit better and have a little more energy. I'm also starting to REALLY like painting at home, in my little studio.

Since I'm dealing in small self-portraits (16" by 20") it's no problem to work on them here.

I've gotten another one done today. This one is from 2004, when I was an office manager, almost at the end (thank God) of my corporate career. After this job I had two more jobs that lasted a total of one year. Then, it was off with the old life and on with the new life I had waited for all my life. . . .Le Artist!

Here it is. . . hot from my little fingers.



I think the next one will be from childhood.

See ya soon!

Here I am again . . .

So, it's a few days between posting and I've discovered that I have a new malady. It's call 'hyperaldosteronism'. Sounds like a fake disease if you ask me, but apparently it's not and at least answers why I've been feeling so sick and out of energy lately.

They (the medical they) tell me that one pill a day should take care of it. I'm hoping because it really taps my energy level and I'm not as prolific (artistically) as I'd like to be in the end of my senior semester in undergrad.

Anyway, I have gotten something accomplished, between all the doctors appointments.

This is the first self-portrait in my series that I'm actually proud of. And, all it took was a little more free-wheeling attitude with my colors.

The most current self-portrait is from 1987. The photograph it's based on was from a singing performance I did at a Spring showcase of local talent at the New Milford 'little theatre.'



Yes, this was back in my 'torch singer' days.

How many people have I been in my life?

I'd say a few, eh?

Wooppeee! Work in Progress

Here are two paintings I'm working on. One may look like it's finished, but it isn't. I'm having trouble getting more depth into the painting so I'll be working on it for a while yet.

Here's an early version of this painting of me and my Mom on a boat when I was about four years-old.



And, here's the latest version. I'm having a hard time getting more depth into the skin tones (and actually the rest of the painting too.) So, this is where I get to learn by doing. Isn't that how it's all done? Duh!



The third painting I'm working on is from a shot of me playing the piano and singing back in the 1980s. I'm going to call it "Torch Singer."



So, that's it for now. More will be posted as I complete works.

I haven't actually been to the studio much. I'm working mostly from home. Thank God I have a studio at home!

I pushed the 'New Post' Button so I guess I'm committed.

So, I've been feeling rather unmotivated and sick and haven't been to the studio much. Oh, I've been creating a LOT of art in my head, while I'm in bed feeling sick and unmotivated.

As I write this blog I'm sitting around in my pajamas and bathrobe and trying to motivate myself to do some art work.

So, I'm posting the lastest stuff I've taken pictures of in the studio.

Here's the big painting (I don't know where I'm going with this).




I've got to get myself in gear or I'm not going to be ready for my Senior Show.

And here's the latest update on the self-portrait I'm working on now.



As you can tell, this is before I gave up the hair-dye box! And also, this is when I was 50 (just five years-ago but in many ways it seems like an eternity.)

Long Time No Post

So here I am again, your aging but still spectacular college correspondent.

The news today? Big snooze, painting crit, rewind.

I had a painting (group) crit I almost didn't make today. But, I made it there in about a half hours time of when I got out of bed (the crit was at 1:30 p.m. so, no kudos for me.)

I'm working on about 2.5 paintings right now. How could it be 2.5? Well, I put one aside totally for now (that's a painting based on another old photograph. . .included here at the last moment for your viewing pleasure.)



Next up, is the current self-portrait I'm working on:



Then, I've got this massive 'hand' painting I'm working on:




This one got a big negatory in the group crit today. But, that's O.K. I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this right now. I've got this problems with my hands and pain right now so I'm painting about that.

I'm also going to start a new painting about a position I find myself frequenting as of late (in bed) the famed fetal position. I don't know how you sleep, but I always find myself curled (blissfully) in this position in bed.

I seem to have more and more annoying (and slightly frightening) physical issues coming up as of late and I think they're going to be popping up more and more in my painting. This is just another way to 'deal' with them.

I pray, I talk, I live, I paint, I trust.

My Last Senior Semester About to Begin. . . .

And I find myself hurtling (in my head) toward the future and what I will be doing after I graduate.

This break I had tasked myself with five hours of painting at least five days as week. Did I actually accomplish this? Flat out NO.

Instead, I hunkered down at home, rested and did tons of Christmas baking, and, at the end of my break I went down to visit my parents for a week.

I thoroughly enjoyed the visit to CT. It was too short a time but I saw a some good friends, took Mom to the Opera at the Met and went into the city for a second time to see the Kandinsky exhibit at the Guggenheim.

So, I got my culture fix for a while.

My hands have been troubling me again and I think I'm due for another operation on the right hand after graduation. Then it will be on to the left thumb which is also triggering. I'm not freaked out about this, just listing it here as one of those things I need to take care of after graduation.

And the, it's on with the rest of my life, that is, after I get through today.

Man, I make myself laugh.